


Please Don't Hate Me

by LordLaurance



Category: Hamilton (Broadway Musical), Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Musical
Genre: Broadway, Broadway Musical, Crying, Gay, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homosexual, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied homophobia, M/M, Musical, Musicals, One Shot, Sad, Short Story, gay main character, gay relationship, scared, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 10:38:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18915259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordLaurance/pseuds/LordLaurance
Summary: Alex finds John crying in an alley and he needs to know what's wrong





	Please Don't Hate Me

Alex yawned loudly and stretched his neglected shoulder and back muscles.

He’d been working late all week and wanted nothing more than to sink into the soft mattress in his bedroom.

Alex said a quick ‘goodbye’ to Washington and grabbed his coat before trudging out the door.

A rush of cold air assaulted his body the moment he was outside.

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered, holding his arms close to his body.

 

Alex was almost home, passing by his favorite pub, when he heard a sound coming from the alleyway.

It was a dreadful sound, a sniffle and a sob. Someone was crying and Alex, being a good Samaritan, couldn’t just walk past.

So, he cautiously walked into the dark alley.

“Hello?” Alex called. “Are you alright in there?”

He pulled out his lighter, starting it up and holding it in front of him.

The person was balled up, just a lump on the ground with their knees in their face. They were shaking as they sobbed against their trousers.

Alex could feel his heart shatter.

“Excuse me?” Alex called out again.

The person looked up, revealing a familiar tan, freckled face, covered in tears.

“John?” Hamilton stepped closer.

“Alex,” John said, looking at the ground and quickly wiping his tears.

“It’s nearly midnight, what are you doing out here?” Alex knelt down beside his friend.

“I-“ John’s eyes darted back and forth, looking everywhere besides Alex’s face. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” the younger man asked incredulously. “You’re weeping in an alley at midnight.”

“I can’t tell you,” Laurens was still shaking and, despite his attempts to compose himself, he was still crying. “You’ll-You’ll hate me-I can’t-Please don’t hate me!”

Alexander had never heard a grown man’s voice so broken. He almost began crying himself.

“John,” he muttered. “John, no, I could never hate you, come on. You’re one of my closest friends!”

John didn’t seem convinced, even as Hamilton pulled him into his arms.

“Come on,” he begged. “Tell me what happened. What’s wrong? Was-Was it Burr? Mulligan? Did someone say something?”

Laurens just shook his head.

John wasn’t going to say anything and Alex was running out of options.

“Come on, it’s freezing,” he changed the topic. “Let’s go inside. You can stay over with me? Get some rest? Clean up? Come on.”

Before John could say ‘no’, he was on his feet, being dragged into the Hamilton household.

Alex hauled the shaking boy into the living room, where he pulled a rag from the pot that he had boiled earlier that day. He dropped John into the recliner in the corner of the living room.

“Hold still,” Alex told him, putting one hand at the back of his head.

John felt too tired and weak to protest, so he held his body as still as he could while Alexander scrubbed his face with the wet rag.

“Looking better already,” the immigrant man smiled, brushing back some of the other’s dark hair.

John managed a weak smile in response and Alex frowned.

“You tired? You wanna go to bed?” Alex asked, reaching to grab John around the waist.

“Yeah,” was all John said as he used Alex’s body to get him up from the chair.

As soon as he was on his feet, Laurens began to make his way toward the door. Hamilton grabbed his wrist.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” John reached for his boots, which he didn’t really remember taking off.

“John, it’s midnight and you still won’t tell me why you were crying. I’m not just going to send you home,” Alex crossed his arms. “Stay.”

John shook his head. “I can’t. You don’t- you wouldn’t want me to; if you knew what I’d done.”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “Did you commit homicide? Treason? Embezzlement? Theft? Because, if not, it probably wasn’t too big of a deal.”

“No,” John replied. “But it was; a huge deal.”

“Tell me,” it was almost a command, but it wasn’t aggressive. Alex’s voice was soft, caring, and almost loving.

John’s heart and stomach wrenched.

“Screw it,” the older groaned, squeezing his eyes closed and exhaling deeply. “You’ll find out anyway. Everyone will.”

Alex took a few steps back, dropping to the couch when he felt it hit his knees.

John sat down in the recliner again, warming his hands at the newly lit fire, which he didn’t remember Alex setting.

“I slept with someone I shouldn’t have,” John stated.

“Oh? Who qualifies as someone you shouldn’t sleep with? Was it a Schuyler sister? An older woman? A wife?” Alex replied, sounding fairly unconcerned.

“No, Hamilton,” John sighed. “It was- his name was Kit.”

Alex froze instantly. His palms moistened and his throat got dry.

“His?” Alex repeated.

John began to stand up again. “I should go.”

“No! No, John, hold on,” Alex grabbed his sleeve.

“Really, I should go.”

“Did he…” Alex’s voice trailed off, uncertainty evident.

John sighed. “I’ve already thought of every question you could possibly be asking me right now. He didn’t manipulate me, lie to me, get me drunk, hurt me, trick me… I willingly and knowingly made the decision to be with him.”

Alex nodded a little. “Okay,” he muttered. “Okay. Let’s just sit down.”

“What?” John was already shaking in his friend’s grasp. “Are-aren’t you going to… freak out? Tell me I’m a freak? A monster? A pervert?”

Alex just shook his head, letting himself sink into the couch and dragging John down with him.

“Do you love him?” Hamilton asked quietly.

“No,” Laurens replied. “I did once but, that was a while ago.”

Alex nodded. “It’s okay.”

John shook his head, taking a deep breath. “F-Fine!?” he exclaimed. “If anyone finds out, I-I’ll be exiled! Beheaded! Rolled down the street like King Louis!”

Alexander squeezed his best friend’s hands. “Shh, John. It’ll be okay. You’re-you’re fantastic, sensational, iconic. You’re a passionate writer and artist. You’re a person. And you are my best friend.”

John put his head down.

“Now take a deep breath,” the younger man said. “And let’s go to bed.”

John nodded.

The two trudged up the stairs to Alex’s room, where they stripped to their undergarments and Alex offered up the bed.

“But-“

“No buts, we can share.”

John again let his body go limp and allowed Alexander to pull him onto the bed.

For the first time that night, John relaxed his body against Alex. He sighed.

Alex burrowed his face in John’s neck, big spooning him tightly.

“Thank you,” Laurens whispered.


End file.
